Dear Beautiful Friends,
A year ago today, at around 7:30 am, I was getting dressed after swimming, in the club locker room, talking to swim pals, when the phone rang. It was my mom, and I knew what was coming.
My dad passed away at the age of 97, after several years with dementia (a word I still can’t spell). In the last four years he’d also lost his eyesight (wear your sunglasses!) Today is a tribute to my amazing dad and human Boris Mishel (born Boris Bistritzky), and to my mom who endured eight years of watching the love of her life retreat from daily life in slow motion. Thanks to all of you Beauty Hunter readers who came along with me as I wrote about the surprising experience of finding beauty in the last few years of my dad’s life.
The first reaction upon hearing my dad was off on his next adventure: “Way to go Dad, you did it.” In the hospice pamphlet, it tells you that the act of dying takes effort and energy. So in some cases, we can consider death an accomplishment.
My Dad was such a profoundly beautiful and spectacular human: kind, nurturing, strong, intelligent, artistic, book-smart, wise, a linguist, opera singer, Boeing careerist, cook, athlete, funny, and in the end he was much-loved in his favorite role of all a devoted family man.
To celebrate, I’ve unlocked these posts about my dad and our time at the end of his life. And, my mom, Steve and I are going out for a fancy lunch, something my dad LOVED to do.
As we approach 2023’s finish line, a big burst of love to those of you who have lost a loved one or are in the process. The Beauty Hunter community is there for you; I’m there for you. Email me if you’d like to connect and talk anything out during this tricky time of year.
Here’s a menu of Dad posts:
The first piece includes a video of the last time I saw him.
One Last Father-Daughter Outing?
Dear beautiful friends, Last week I was in Arizona with The Originals—my mom, my dad, my brother, Michael and me. It was a sweet, comfortable time, amidst the prolonged Question of the Moment: When is Dad going to go? As much as I’ve been surprised by this phase of my dad’s life, and our ego-less, innocent interactions, the affection and delights, I’m ge…
What to Do When Your Dad Can't Remember Sh*t
Beauties, When he starts asking you the same questions over and over again, love him. When he stops calling you by your name, love him. When he forgets your name, love him. When he falls, goes to the hospital, and scares the shit out of everyone, love him.
Resting Up for the Next Adventure
When my dad first entered hospice, three-and-a-half years ago at 94, we received a handful of brochures on how hospice works, and what to expect. I leafed through them with a heavy heart, adjusting to the fact that my dad was in a home, but stopped at a section titled: “Signs that your loved one…
My Dad, the Horse & a Comet
Hi beautiful friends, The other morning I woke up feeling unrested and figured the way to spank some life into this system was to get out into the 32-degree, foggy dark-ish morning. Let’s see what’s out there for us, I cheered to myself. I had no idea . . .
How Do You Celebrate a Life?
I’ve removed the paywall from stories about my dad’s last year . Links are at the end of this post. xo Dear Beautiful Friends, Ten months after my dad left on his next adventure, we celebrated him on an unseasonably warm and sunny October weekend in Seattle. The weather gods got the memo and delivered a micro-heat wave in honor of a most beautiful human.
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