I'm Sick and Loving It
A few upsides to a public-health mandated retreat if anyone else is recouping at home❤️
Dear Beautiful Friends,
I’m on day four of covid. My symptoms are mild, and I’m doing fine.
Well, the last part’s a lie. I’m not doing fine.
I’m doing great. So far, this “government-sanctioned retreat” (as a friend so hilariously put it) has been a welcome break, after a bustling autumn. I rarely get colds and flus (I do have my own chorus of boutique-y conditions, I’m not bragging), but in the last few days, I’ve been examining the beauty of being tolerably sick, aka at home in bed.
How does this cold exalt my senses, engage me with the here and now?
Here’s a list of three reasons I love being (mildly sick), each one followed by a prompt. Then, keep reading to see what I’ve created for you during my covid retreat.
I 💜 the creative constraints
I used to write a lot of poetry in form: sonnets, sestinas, pantoums, villanelles, my-own-made-up-forms. The rules and limitations focused my mind in a way I loved. The container, the rhyming structure, repeating lines, a pattern of end words, the meter—I found freedom in these restraints. My creative spirit purred as she poured words into these molds.
There were always surprises (one of my fave definitions of Beauty), and the resulting poem was always far more creative and rambunctious than I could have imagined. A couple days ago it struck me that being (mildly) sick—we’re not praising life-threatening illnesses here—is a creative constraint. The rules come down to: A) stay put, B) drink liquids, C) rest, and D) stay in bed. It’s January, I’m into it! The timing couldn’t be better. I’ll admit: If this was July, I’d be digging deep for the beauty. And if I’m still here next week, I might be peevish.
PROMPT: Identify a “limitation” or a “block” in your life. Can you re-see it as a creative constraint? Think of the way a budget or a recipe provides structure, direction, focus. Imagine fitting everything you need for a trip in a bag that big. That’s a creative constraint. Chew on this for a few days. See what arises.
I 💜 💜 💜 💜 Bed
I have spent Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday in bed, with my laptop, a notebook, reading material, a new month-at-a-glance calendar, a collection of beverages on my bedside table, munching from an occasional bowl of popcorn, dipping into endless cherry cough drops, with a handsome husband asking, “Can I get you anything at the store?” regularly.
WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE?
I couldn’t be happier. And yes, this is the worst sleep hygiene in the world. But, it’s public-health sanctioned! And I’m strangely productive when I work from bed. Anyone else out there in this camp? Patricia Lockwood writes her books from bed. If bed were my regular office, I might have two books out by now.
One of my biggest life gratitudes is having a home, and then a bed. I really love bed. I think about my bed when I’m not in it, and delight in the fact that my bed’s waiting for me at day’s end. I thank my lucky stars that I have a home and a bed and good shelter from the storms of life. There are so many reminders of this good fortune all around us these days. I feel it deep in my bones.
As a girl, I spent hours alone in my bedroom, listening to the radio, playing records, reading, journaling, cat cuddling, staring into a mirror, doing headstands against the wall on a pink shag carpet, and of course, massive amounts of daydreaming. My bedroom was my pal.
Once, years ago, while profoundly heartbroken, the only thing that minutely cheered me up was not my good health, but my bedroom.
PROMPT: What is a part of daily life that you love, but don’t think about a lot? What in your life is so easy to love it’s like second nature or breathing? Spend the next few days going about your days and watching, witnessing, observing.
I 💜 Doing What I Want
If a common human desire or conditioned instinct is to “do what we want”, or at least “know what we want” and then do that, being sick is like the ultimate carte blanche to following these wants, guilt-free, because you’re healing. And, with the built-in creative constraints, the narrowed field makes it easy to land; the menu is small.
I’m not generous about doing things I don’t want to do. This quality has led me to quit jobs, end relationships, and move—often impulsively. It’s certainly not the best habit to bring to a marriage. And, doing whatever I want often produces blocks. I get lost in the swirl of possibilities and end up chasing my tail.
But when I consider whatever-I-want within a creative constraint, and from bed—now we’re talking. Meta-constraints, drool. This week, because I have this little care package of wants to nibble on, the actions taken have been around creating content and upcoming courses for Beauty Hunter—instead of binge-reading novels, watching movies and series, and napping. Nothing wrong with this list of activities, but it’s just like a constraint: Surprise!
PROMPT: Do you notice how some of your wants, or desires, sit with you differently—how some are prickly and uncomfortable, while others feel vast and adventurous? Watch for it, there’s nothing to do. See if you can find one vast-and-adventurous Desire that throbs relentlessly and warmly, and follow it.
Before you go, read this magnificent piece by Sonya Lea who in my book led the way in the Dept of listening to wants & desires.
Here’s what’s new and upcoming at Beauty Hunter
I’m starting a series called Beauty Hunter Explores.
The first offering starts Jan 24, runs six Wednesdays, 12 - 1 pm and will focused on Using Beauty to Change Your Life. Discounts for paid subscribers.
It’s very much the salon style of exploratory conversations you’re accustomed to, but with a bit more structure--playfully so. The world will be our lab (laboratory, not 🦮).
Each person will identify one area in which they want to create change, or see a shift/shimmy occur; then we will apply our own idea of Beauty to that desire, and see how Beauty guides us into what’s Real beyond our beliefs. We’ll hire a few helpers along the way, i.e.,: Curiosity, Awe, Openness, Slowing Down, a Human, Spirit, Art, Your-Choice-Here.
Still, as always, our mission is to turn toward beauty, however, you define it, as a portal to transform a part of your life and/or experience.
I’m integrating my Everyday Creative Coaching biz into Beauty Hunter, and be offering 1:1 coaching through Beauty Hunter. You can book a single meeting or a three-pack. Longer-term engagements are also available.
Looking ahead: Beauty Hunter’s second series will be "That's a Terrible Idea, What Time Creators' Studio.” This is for writers and creators (humans, really) who want to get the f*&k going with a project, practice or having fun making art. It’s scheduled April 17 – May 29, 12 – 1:30 pm PDT. The last half hour is an optional studio time to co-work together. Not yet open for registration, stay tuned. If you are in the Seattle area, you're welcome to participate in with me person, and we'll have the Zoom rolling too.
The Monthly Beauty Salons continue, being held on the third Thursday of the month unless otherwise notified. These are hour-long spaces that brings the Beauty Hunter community together to explore topics, learn, be delighted, and meet new people. If you would like to lead a salon, or want to throw a topic my way, please do.
If you are part of a group—books, arts, community, outreach, tea, women’s, personal growth, sports—and would like to bring someone in to facilitate exploratory conversations, salon-style, I’m for hire.
That’s about it. Thanks for playing, beauties. XO