I Wanted to Complain But Instead I'm Revisiting the Internet of 1995

Are there more beautiful ways to "waste" time?

In a bit of a mood this week.

Dear Delightful Friends,

At first, I was going to write about how cranky this human has become, despite last week’s gloating over a public-health-sanctioned winter retreat (aka covid).

Oh yeah, I was gonna lay it on you — tell you about how, on day nine of no exercise and no IRL human engagement other than my husband, no ability to focus properly on creative projects, no morning coffee-shop writing bliss and small talk with my favorite baristas, no wag in this dawg’s tail, just bitterly cold weather, a temper as short as my fingernails, and an inner monologue blasting its Best Ofs on repeat—Who do you think you are? You can’t do that! Might as well give up now. Why does it take YOU so long? You think that’s good?, that’s not good!—oh yeah, it’s been a real cacophony of inner 💩 over here.

Also, I really hate my hair.

This is some of what I was going to tell you about—

But . . .

instead . . .

I want to tell you what I remember from the internet circa 1995.

For some reason, my attention has been mulling over the turn of the century and internet usage.

Remember the mid-90s to early 00’s?

No texting, no social media, no email from your phone. No mobile phone! (And then, used mainly for emergencies). Amazon was new and only sold books & music. Music was still played on CDs. Online shopping not a thing.

So how did a gal “waste her time” on the internet back then?

This gal, two places:

• Looking at art, mainly paintings, and reading about the artists who made them.

• Looking up poems, reading poetry, and about the poets who wrote them.

I’m jealous of that woman, so in the Here & Now, leaning into her olde desktop computer of yore, as she learns about Sylvia Plath, sestinas, Matisse, the impressionists. Her attention muscle was strong and focused, chasing down passions with hardly a distraction.

YOU’VE GOT TO SEE THIS!

The art website I frequented was called WebMuseum Paris. It’s been online since 1994, and hasn’t been updated since I first used it, which it a real relic of the w.w.w.
Check it out—voila!

I spent hours on this site at work, “wasting time.” The first time I learned how to set one of these artworks as a desktop wallpaper—filling my entire screen with a Kandinsky, I went ape shit. Called co-workers over to look, stared at my screen like a love-sick teenager.

”How was it possible I could see great works of art spread across my computer screen, what will humans invent next?” I wondered, circa 1995.
(Only this.)

Landscape with Two Poplars (1912), Wassily Kandinsky.

All of this brings me to—

I’m not sure why this bud of thought pushed its way into my consciousness. I’m glad it did. There is always a swirl of ideas, questions, and intrigue living beneath those blue moods.

One of the guiding principles here at Beauty Hunter is that it’s OK to feel shitty, and not be swept up in the beauty of living. I mean, give me a break, right? There’s beauty in the sadness, the sulk, the disgruntledness—especially if we don’t try to do anything about it other than hold it, and observe it. It’s all LIFE. (We talk about this a lot in the salons and courses.)

Even when it feels frustrating and horrible, the willingness to Be With the mood and not judge or make any sense of it, is expanding your capacity; and in that expanding capacity, ideas are able to be felt, seen, and heard. Even the most unexpected, out-of-the-blue questions, like:

• What did I do on the internet way back when? 🦖

• Was there a time when the internet was a beautiful place of discovery?

• What would I be doing right now if there was no internet, texting, Instagram, etc?

There are grand openings for discovery and truth in those questions.

So that’s my story for you.

I still hate my hair, but it will grow. I’m still feeling isolated, but I’ll be out in the world in a day or two. I’m short-tempered, my feet are cold, and my fingers are puffy from eating crackers and popcorn. But in five minutes, I’ll get out for a walk, be caught up by some oddball winter bloom, and be back in love with the world, for at least a second or two.

These camellias were blooming in 18 degree weather!

🌟🌟🌟 I have something else for you! 👇🏼🍎

Join us next Wednesday starting January 24

Beauty Hunter Explores: CHANGE
Starting next Wednesday, Jan 24 - Feb 28
12 - 1 pm PDT on Zoom (includes recordings)

What if you could create change in one area of your life by focusing on BEAUTY?

In the new series of Beauty Hunter Explores, we’re going to lean in with a sense of adventure, take what we discuss in our conversations, apply it to an area you want to change or turn the needle on, and then go out and test it in the real world.

This is a salon-class-coaching hybrid environment, with a rich dose of fieldwork thrown in. Each Beauty Hunter explorer will:

A) Come up with your own definition or idea of Beauty
B) Identify an area of life you would like to change, or create something new, and use that as your focus.

We will share findings, learn from each other, get fresh ideas, and stumble over surprises as our world expands and perhaps throws up a challenge or two. And we will see if and how our experience of life shimmies when we use beauty as a portal to change.

Who are we?
The Beauty Hunter community is a group of big-hearted existential explorers, who gather to converse, share, question, challenge, laugh, maybe shed a tear, be delighted and mystified, then go out into the field (life), and experiment, test theories, suspend a belief or two, and see where Beauty takes us.

I guarantee you, you won’t walk away unchanged. Everyone here will offer up a fresh point of view, an experience, a theory, an idea that will nudge you into a new way of being, shedding sunlight into the darker corners of your life. Conversations are beautiful; conversations change lives. Join us!

Using Beauty to Change Your Life includes:

• Six one-hour Zoom meetings, conversational in style.

• Weekly focuses or experimentation.

• Weekly email prompts

• One 45 min individual exploratory/coaching conversation

• Cost: $400

• $360 for Beauty Hunter paid subscribers

Your payment secures your spot.