The Buried Beauty of Eros
And one surprisingly luscious Valentine's Day while single
Dear beauties,
Twenty-two years ago I had the most amazing Valentine’s Day.
At this stage of life, I was single, working at a dot-com start-up and paying regular visits to my wise-women/therapist on the topic of Feminine Power, namely how to embody it in a new professional leadership position while keeping what I was referring to as my femininity alive. The image of a sly fox appeared in our conversations. Also there was this line that my Wise Woman offered up, like a little Valentine’s shot to the heart: “Eros lives inside me.”
Eros lives inside me.
That winter, without consciously planning it, I dressed myself in bright rich colors: red silk pants, sheer yellow tops, tangerine sweaters, some deep purples. I walked through the streets of downtown draped in my colors of love, past storefronts with Valentine displays and giant hearts, repeating to myself, “Eros lives inside me.” I was in that sweet spot of being happily single, sovereign, and content with where I was in life. I experienced this strange sensation of Love for Everyone and Everything—even an ecstasy for the V-day windows that were not designed for a singleton like me. I sat in work meetings positively squishy with affection for my colleagues and team members. I ordered coffee from baristas who I loved like members of my family.
Eros had moved in, and I was drunk on the company of my loving guest. I was connected to the impersonal buried treasure-beauty of Love—inside, outside, everywhere. How else can I explain this mysterious euphoric occupation?
For an entire February of a new millennium, 2000, eros really did live inside me. On February 13 of that year, I joked with a married co-worker: “I’m going to have the best Valentine’s Day of everyone here, because I’m single and free from any expectations!” We laughed at that one. Granted, there would be V-days to come where I did feel alone and excluded, and one where I had a romantic companion who showed up for a dinner I’d excitedly prepared, empty-handed. Harumph.
Today I am married to a wonderful man who just gave me a love note and a rearview mirror for my e-bike. I’ve traded in my cosmopolitan working life for a home office in a tree-filled suburb and a glorious Western Red Cedar as a co-working mate. I often forget that Eros lives inside me, and today I’m going to revive the mantra.
And to all you Eros-occupyied beauties, here’s a Grab Bag of Beautiful Offerings—a box of chocolates, but in links:
See how Goddamn Beautiful you are. In Oldster magazine, writer Jennifer Nielssen writes about her own precise beauty and how that turns up the beauty of others, too.
This On Being podcast is a conversation with the late John O’Donohue, Irish poet, theologian and philosopher, who believed that Beauty was a human calling. This is like pouring molten love and gorgeousness into your entire bodily system.
An anecdote: Growing up, whenever my mom sneezed she’d exclaim out loud, “God bless you, you gorgeous creature!” She was early to the game of self-affirmation. Why not try it out yourself for shits and giggles, even if you say it quietly or at a whisper. Or, say to a fellow sneezer, “God bless you, you gorgeous creature!”
And with love, there’s heartbreak. In this Fresh Air podcast, Terry Gross interviews Florence Williams, the author of “Heartbreak,” a memoir that explores the science behind why we feel so shitty after a loss. The part that 🤯 for me, was talking about how beauty and awe create emotional resilience to come through losses without long-term debilitating effects. (I wrote about it last week.)
Treat yourself to three exquisite minutes of Molly Bloom’s soliloquy from James Joyce’s “Ulysses.” My friend Kirsten read this passage at my wedding, words that have peeled my heart for years.
On this Valentine’s Day, let’s celebrate this buried beauty that lives inside us—unconditional, impersonal, persistent, infinite. To love❣️
💜 🦩 💜 🦩
If you want to explore—and expand—beauty in everyday life, spring registration is open for Beauty at Work. In a virtual group of cool-minded people, we ask questions like: What if the purpose of work is to love the world? We’ll also consider the phrase “beauty at work in the world.”
Email me with questions - tatyana @ everydaycreative (dot) net
Beauty Hunter is Tatyana Sussex, at Everyday Creative Coaching