I Worry, Do You?

This week's Festival of Worry punctuated by some beautiful truths, and more relentless worrying. Can we be OK with our worries, together?

My mom on holiday in Mexico. This woman doesn’t sweat the small stuff.

Dear Beautiful Friends,

Oh good god am I caught up in a froth of worry this week.

It happens. I’m going to tell you what I worry about in a bit, but first, let’s put Worrying under the microscope.

As far as I can see it, there’s not much beauty to worrying. Worry is so self-absorbing! I’ll speak for myself here because you might experience Worry differently (and if so let us know in Comments). For me, it’s like a kidnapper, taking me away from the people who love me, want me, need me. My husband talks to me and I can’t listen because I’m wondering if the next course I’m offering will fill up and if it doesn’t, then what? I stay at home more because worry is paralyzing, and it tricks me into thinking I don’t deserve to be out connecting with real-life humans because I have too much to do (oh this makes me laugh). It makes me depressed and hopeless. Also, do you know what happens when I’m fueled by worry? I over-scroll on social media, pick my hangnails, and carelessly down squares of chocolate and bowls of popcorn without tasting a thing.

Have you ever noticed how worrying doesn’t have any impact on the Thing being worried about? Never, in a heated state of worry have I manifested clients, a creative idea, a sweet conversation, been a good listener, been open to a fresh idea, or available to show up for someone else. I’m basically rendered useless by worry.

And I continue to do it! (Hi, conditioning, I see you.)

And still, all around me, the swirl of beauty—the beauty of living—everything, everywhere, pulsing with play, possibility, surprise. When I’m actually engaged in the THING—writing the essay, revising the manuscript, creating a salon, having the coaching converation, laughing with my husband, “worry” is nowhere to be found. Engagement is like the magic wand.

How Worry keeps its job

I think we get tricked into worrying as if it’s an insurance policy against bad things happening. Worry is a sign of my upstanding citizenship and sense of responsibility!

Oh Guardian Sprites Guiding My Fate, can you see how much I care, and reward me for that at least?

The experience of it is real but the content, the reality of the worry is such nonsense. I say that from the most non-judgmental place possible.

Take, for example, three Things I’ve worried about this week: