My dear beautiful friends,
Steve and I just spent a week watching the grandkids. It was invigorating, fun, sweet and warm; also exhausting and frustrating at times (we are not in shape for this!). But most of all, the kids reminded me of humans’ innate desire to, and gift for, PLAY. In their wake these bundles of fun leave some random socks and little food piles and toothpaste globs behind, but mostly it’s love and fulfillment that’s the souvenir of the week. I’m purring happily in the wake of so much PLAY.
I couldn’t quite get Riley to sit for a Q&A, but Caden agreed, and we focused on Play, since that’s the theme of the next Salon (Humor, Play & Fun.) He dispenses great insight on the importance of play and fun “it’s good for you.” Click play on the video at top of the page to watch.
Here’s a Day in a Life with Grandkids:
Thursday, 5:30 a.m. Get woken up by Riley who jumps on the bed and says, “Tatyana I want to play! Let’s go for a walk!” We wait for Caden to awaken. Ten minutes later, three of us are walking down the street in our PJs (part of the game), with headlamps and jackets, under the light of the full moon, pointing up at the stars, racing each other to the Red Truck, and remarking how the cool air is coming alive in our breath.
Eat breakfast, the kids chase each other up and down the hallway screaming, laughing. At first I do the grown up thing and say in my strictest voice, “Kids quiet down!” They don’t. After a few rounds I wonder: WHY? Why do they have to quiet down? They’re kids, they’re supposed to be shrieking delighted life forces, they’re doing what kids do—why quiet them down, why squash their fun? Steve and I turn up a Spotify playlist. Blasting music in the early morning is refreshing.
Potty talk. Caden’s all about it. On the way out the door to school (Steve on driving duty) it’s poopy this, diarrhea that, a little toe jam here, and farts there. I think of my mom who, when her granddaughter once flipped her the bird (at six yrs old), she flipped it right back. On that note, I decide to join in on the poopy talk, add a few of my own choice words (toe jam sandwiches), which absolutely thrills the kids beyond words. We cackle together as Poppy looks on sternly. I feel a bond, already strong, strengthening. “Remember, we only talk like this in the privacy of home,” is my mantra.
Kids gone. Now just silence and “work to do.” I like it for about ten minutes then get restless.
Steve gets Caden at bus stop; I fetch Riley (She insists that Tatyana picks her up, which makes me feel GREAT). In her pre-school room, I give the little classmates a big hello, meet them all, ask them to show me their crafts; we have a bit of a chat. (The next day I go in one of the boys GREETS ME BY NAME). I find their company very fun. I am finding myself in a strange new comfort zone.
“I want to go to the park,” Riley says the moment we’re out the door. She’s a bit bossy about it, and at first I think: Should I be disciplining this little brat, showing her who’s really boss? Pffft! I come to my senses: what makes more sense than going to the park at the end of the day? Nothing. We go. We run around, swing, go down slides, sing about the Wizard of Oz, go home when she’s good and ready.
Dinner time and Steve and I are in full confrontation-avoidance mode. Anything they want is our mantra. This is the first of seven nights of rotating Pasta & Peas / Mac & Cheese dinners. One night it’s a combo of both since no one can make up their mind. I portion things out into a bento box, which I have more fun making than the kids have eating from. Oh well.
After dinner we take a quick walk around the block before it gets dark. Almost every time I say to Riley, “Want to go for a walk?” she says yes. Caden, who is sometimes mesmerized by TV, quickly follows suit.
Then, a TV show and ten candy corn pieces per child.
7:45 pm, time for bed. “Brush those teeth right now!” Steve and I chorus.
Sounds from the bathroom: shrieking, laughing, yelling, a bit of crying, whining, back to laughing. Silence. Caden gets to bed lickety-split. Riley sleeps on the couch in my office; asks for one lamp to be kept on, and for the New Yorker to read until she goes to sleep. I hand it to her and leave quickly.
All quiet on the living room front. Steve and I fall into the couch. Look at each other. Smile. Breathe. “We didn’t kill them,” I murmur. We watch an episode of Van der Valk. I fall asleep halfway through. I’m tired, but fulfilled. I’ve played hard today.
“You surprise me at how good a grandma you are,” Steve tells me in bed. I’m too snoozey to answer back. “Actually, it could be that you’re just a four-year-old,” he says. I’ll take both as compliments.
I start wondering: Grown-up lives are not so different from kids’ in some respect. We both: get up in the morning and have a bit of time to fill. Then go off to school/work. Then school/work is done and we have some time to fill. Home, eat, time to fill. Bed. OK, so responsibilities are different; but the approach is so different, it’s as if we’ve forgotten something.
Imagine if we woke up WANTING TO PLAY?
Imagine if after work we INSISTED ON GOING TO THE PARK?
Why don’t we take our play & fun more seriously?
P.S. Not just amazing playmates, kids forgive quickly. One day, after taking Riley to a little local zoo, where she was fussy (wanted to leave right after I paid), and I was snappy, we sat on the front door steps at home. I apologized for being short and snappy. “You didn’t do anything wrong wanting to leave,” I said giving her a kiss. “I just wanted to stay. Thanks for staying. Sorry I got grumpy.” She leaned into me and said something very quietly. I couldn’t make out the words but assumed it was something to the tune of me being angry. I almost didn’t want to hear what she might have said but asked her to repeat herself. Here’s what she said:
“You smell good Tatyana.” 💜💜
Beauty Hunter is a space where we examine the whole bag of life through the lens of beauty—going so far as to imagine Beauty as the Purpose of Life.
Beauty Hunter includes the Salon for Beauty Hunters, a gathering of curious-minded people who want to talk about the larger issues of life from an exploratory POV.
Starting Oct 14, we’re going to put our attention on Humor, Play & Fun. Imagine if that sweet trinity made it to the top of your goals list? Well, we might rip up all goals lists and find another way into that child-like, wise space of glee and light.
We gather in my Zoom room on Fridays, starting October 14, 12 - 1 pm Pacific USA time, and go until early December. If you’re interested, more information at the link above, or email me at: tatyana @ everydaycreative (dot) net.
More deets at Join a Salon!, at Everyday Creative. XOXO
Beauty Q&A With Grandson Caden