Advent Calendar of Beauty, Dec 17

ROAR, or Day of the savage cat

Dear Beauties,

Some days, even weeks, my mood feels savage. And by “savage” I’m pointing to this definition per dictionary.com:

fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.

Life is babbling away like a little brook with some things happening, a little prick here, a little prick there, no big deal really, until ALL OF A SUDDEN, my husband reminds me about taking my car in, and I want to yell and scream and unleash talons and rip them across everything—my beloveds, buildings, the car stopped behind me, pedestrians. I want to annihilate everything like a villain in a superhero movie.

Fuuuuck. And what the hell?

If you have these feral snaps on occasion, I’m right there with you.

Conditioned civility wins out, thank god. I may take to bed and rest while the afternoon sun streaks through the window, the shade of a giant western red cedar spackling the bedroom walls. SIGH. Grrr. SIGH.

When the mood stalks me throughout the week; when I drive with my husband to pick up my car at the dealership where we spent too much money on a tuneup and new tires, I’m rumbling inside. I stay quiet (miraculously). On the way home, when my husband puts his hand on my knee (he knows his she-beast is in danger mode), I am (miraculously!) able to squeeze his fingers and answer his questions in a calm tone.

These days I am attempting to find the stillness in the wild-animal moods. It sounds lovely, like a reprieve but it’s a quiet kind of HARD, a real mofo of a challenge that tests the calm place of consciousness.

Today, whatever your mood, you’re not alone. We all nibble on a corner of all the flavors of animal nature. My animal gives her love to you/yours. Just be with your animal, sit with that roaring beast and just let her/him/them go at it. It will pass and maybe you’ll see something new in the process. XO