Just say NO to Imposter Syndrome
Insecurities are cute
Dear Beauties,
At the turn of the century I had my first job leading a team of 12 young professionals at a dot.com startup. It was my first time managing people and the terms baptism by fire and drinking out of the fire hose only came close to the panic I often felt day to day. I had no idea what the hell I was doing!
One day a few of my team members called me over to a scattering of print outs at someone’s desk. “We need an executive decision on this,” one of them said. I promptly turned my head to look behind me, at whomever he was asking for this executive decision.
The person was me.
Gulp.
I snapped back to the conversation and knew what to do. Make a decision, any decision. And that’s what I did. I probably tipped my chin up just enough to assume a particular level of confidence and authority. I listened to what the team members had to say. I made a decision. I did what was being asked of me in the moment. Just as many of you have done. This is what life asks of us: to take action in the moment based on what makes the most sense, and what you know how to do in the moment.
Then we come up with terms like “imposter syndrome.”
Are you willing to kick “imposter syndrome” to the curb? Why are we falling for this term? Let me be clear: I have fallen for the term.
I’ve had a feeling more than once, actually MANY MANY TIMES MORE THAN ONCE, that I am out in the world as a child wearing grown-up clothes; even if my marriage, in my fifties, I have felt like a child playing dress up with her mother’s dresses.
But let’s consider this: we’re all actors on a stage. And we have insecurities.
I’m talking about simple experiences of WTF x 2 (what the fuck am I doing; who the fuck do I think I am)—the animal feeling that if you don’t defend, protect, assert, prove, assume, secure you’ll die. Feels real, and it’s not.
So how about instead of “imposter syndrome” we look at the ARG-y moment/feeling/block as an insecurity and nothing else. A speed bump. Not to diminish it, but to move to the edges of what we think is true about ourselves, being human and Life?
Just say no to imposter syndrome. All together now!
JUST SAY NO TO IMPOSTER SYNDROME.
Say hello to your beautiful impersonal insecurity. Nothing more.
Try this: every time you feel like you’re “faking it” or have an imposter feeling situation that’s blocking something you’ve been trying to do, stop. Get curious and slow down. Be willing to NOT fall down the I.S. rabbit hole. That’s all. Be willing to find a little baby-path to meander down. Consider everything data. Impersonal. XO
